


International Women's Day

by dance_across



Category: Deadpool (2016)
Genre: F/M, Light Dom/sub, Pegging, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_across/pseuds/dance_across
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The strap-on was Wade's idea in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	International Women's Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arwyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arwyn/gifts).



**Then**

“No. No. No, no—”

She pauses. “No as in slow down? Or no as in stop?”

Wade considers for a second. He’s supposed to _like_ this. It’s supposed to be _fun_.

“Slow down,” he pants. “Maybe I’m just too tight, or…”

So Vanessa slows down. No more thrusting. Just a gentle rhythm, her cock moving slowly, slowly in and out of him—and that’s annoying in its own way. Wade doesn’t usually go for gentle. He likes things rough. It’s one of about a billion reasons why he and Vanessa are so good together.

Also, it still fucking hurts.

“Stop,” he says, pressing his face into the bed, eyes closed. “No as in stop.”

Vanessa freezes, then slides out of him as carefully as she can. He’s still kneeling there, ass in the air the way she wanted it, and he feels her moving backwards, just far enough to kiss his left cheek, then his right.

“You okay?” she asks, stretching out beside him.

“Ow,” he says. “Fucking ow.”

Her hand lands on his shoulder and runs down his arm, pushing him gently onto his side. He’s facing her now—or he would be, if he had the balls to open his eyes. Christ, this is embarrassing.

“Wade,” she says. “Hey. It’s okay.”

“No it’s fucking not,” he says. “What kind of guy am I if I can’t even take it up the ass from my lady on International Women’s Day?”

She laughs, which is when he finally opens one eye. She doesn’t look disappointed, which is definitely a plus.

“The best kind of guy,” she says. “You tried. You didn’t like it. No big deal, okay?”

He sits up then. “No, but that’s the thing. I _do_ like it, right? There is literally nothing better in the entire universe than having a giant cock just, you know, ramming into you over and over—”

“Tell me about it,” says Vanessa with a smirk.

“Well, maybe not _nothing_ better,” says Wade, arranging himself cross-legged on the bed. Ugh, he’s even starting to lose his hard-on. Jesus. “There’s probably like three things that are better. Five, tops. But that’s it. What I’m saying is, there’s a reason I wanted you to use that thing on me.”

She raises an eyebrow. Leans up and traces a finger over his cheek. “Maybe I just need to work on my technique. Maybe you could help me with that.”

Wade obviously knows that “hell fucking yeah” is the right response here—but his body twitches with the ghost of pain. He’s bottomed a whole bunch in his life, and sure, it hurts sometimes, but never like this. This is new.

He stays quiet.

“Or,” she says slowly, “we could find something else to do. Like maybe I’ll wash this thing, and then I could make you suck me off.”

Wade’s dick jumps to attention again. This? This is a very excellent idea.

Vanessa, seeing the answer on his face, kisses him once before she rolls off the bed. “I’ll be two minutes,” she calls over her shoulder. “And when I’m back, I expect to find you on your knees and ready for me.”

So that’s how they spend the next hour or so of Wade’s new favorite holiday: with his mouth on her cock and his finger on her clit, sucking and rubbing, rubbing and sucking, till she comes so hard that her knees buckle and she can’t even stand up anymore.

-

**Now**

When Wade interrupts a seriously hot-ass makeout session to ask if she’s still got that strap-on, Vanessa’s face clouds over.

“You really wanna try that again?” she asks. “After last time?”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about last time,” says Wade. “And you know what I realized?”

She tilts her head, a silent question on her kiss-swollen lips.

“Two words,” says Wade. “ _Prostate cancer._ Like, hello, no wonder it fucking hurt, right? You stick a dick up there and it’s like—Wham! Wham! Cancer! Tumor! Wham!”

Vanessa’s mouth drops open. “Holy fucking shit.”

“Right?”

“It never even occurred to me—”

_“Right?”_

“Jeeeeeeeesus.”

“So yeah,” says Wade. “If you don’t mind sticking it inside an ass that looks like a poorly-painted moonscape—”

“Oh my god,” Vanessa interrupts, “will you stop that? I know what you look like. You don’t have to keep, you know, _warning_ me.”

Which, of course, just makes him feel like even more of a douche-canoe. Vanessa’s fine with it. Or, if not fine, then at least _dealing_. He’s not dealing at all, not yet. He’s just—

“Ooh,” he says, as a hand squeezes his ass through his jeans. A Vanessa-hand, obviously. It’s just that he wasn’t expecting it, and—and yup, she’s got both hands on his ass now, and she’s squeezing again.

She leans up and nips at his earlobe. “Take off your pants.”

So he fucking _does_ , like fucking _immediately_ , because _obviously_. 

Her hand moves around to his front again, pausing to scrape one fingernail lightly down his dick. Jesus, this lady.

“On the bed,” she says. “I’ll just be a minute—but when I’m back, I expect to find you on all fours, ready for me.”

“Damn fucking right,” Wade murmurs, and gets into position.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is officially dedicated to two people:  
> 1\. The Tumblr user who pointed out the prostate cancer thing. I can't remember who you are, but you fixed one of the biggest problems I had with the movie.  
> 2\. Arwyn, who had the same problem I did, only much more loudly. :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] International Women's Day](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6201655) by [sisi_rambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisi_rambles/pseuds/sisi_rambles)




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